Are You At Risk For Second Hand Stress?

We live in a world where stress is commonplace. Part of the reason why we have so much stress in the world is because stress can be contagious. It is not contagious like the flu is contagious but it can pass from person to person just by being around someone who is always negative, anxious, and stressed out. It is hard to be calm around this kind of stressful negativity.

Second hand stress is more common than you might think. It is something you need to think about whenever you are finding yourself extra-anxious or stressed out when you can’t really figure out what the stress is all about. If you understand secondhand stress, you can do something to overcome it and live a happier life.

The Basics of Secondhand Stress

Secondhand stress happens because we live in an interconnected society and are affected by the emotions of those around you. Scientists have discovered that there are brain nerves called “mirror neurons” that try to synchronize our brain to match with those around us. This means that we can synchronize and relate only to calm people around us or synchronize to those that are stressed and subconsciously passing that stress on to you.

Secondhand stress was first identified in the workplace where people surrounded by those who were extra-rushed and busy took on the characteristics of the person they were exposed to. People around someone who is stressed out became stressed themselves under the pressure to work as hard as the next person and to be just as productive.

This phenomenon has since been found to extend to non-workplace issues. When our family or friends are stressed out, we can experience secondhand stress that lasts beyond the 9-5 of the workplace. It ends up being a negative cycle in which you each feed off the others anxieties and stressed-out feelings. It can be damaging to relationships, even those that once seemed solid.

For example, you can become stressed out by stories of family members who provide you with negativity in a situation when you, yourself, felt like things were going to be okay. Your family members’ worries rub off on you and you begin to lose the confidence you once had around the situation you are in. Before long, you are as stressed as the other person or persons in your life.

Most of the time, you are just trying to be empathetic around the person who is sharing their negativity. This empathy can turn into sharing their negative feelings and taking them on as your own. Without having knowledge to deal with your own feelings, you can begin to feel others’ stress and it can affect you as much as them.

Secondhand stress can affect children as much as adults. When we bring our work or relationship stress issues home and expose our children to them, they become just as stressed out as we are. Children are very empathetic to the feelings of adults and can carry on the stressors of their parents. Parents who push their feelings on their children run the risk of having stressed-out and anxious kids.

How do you handle secondhand stress?

You need to protect yourself from the negative impact of stress on the body. Part of this involves knowing you can’t fix another person’s stress. You have to keep your distance from the stressors of others so that you can focus on your own feelings. Empathy is okay to a point but you can’t let yourself be sucked into the emotions of others.

You may have to avoid the people who have stresses in their lives that you can’t handle. There are just some people who are always negative and who seem to pass on their toxicity to everyone around them. These aren’t people you want to be around for very long and you don’t want to consider them good friends.

Maintain a positive attitude around those who always seem to be negative. By carrying on positivity in your mindset, you deflect the negativity when it shows up. You don’t have to ignore the person altogether but you can reflect an aura of positivity that might just rub off on some people. Try using humor to deflect any negativity that comes your way.

You can also try compassion and become a trusted person in whom the negative person confides. Save this technique for people who will listen to what you have to say and will change their attitude after carefully listening to your side of things. These people are less toxic and are amenable to change, which makes them worth the hassle of listening to their negativity.